


Rumour has it

by screamtobeheard



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: First Time, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Sneaking Around, accepting yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6241678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamtobeheard/pseuds/screamtobeheard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s not gay. He’s not into dudes and he’s absolutely not into dark haired giants touching his hips</p><p>or where Dan meets Phil at a party and might or might not really like kissing him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen i don't fucking know what this is. It was supposed to be a quick one shot but then i got ideas
> 
> Hope it's fun to read

It’s Friday, which means Dan’s counting the hours, minutes, seconds till the weekend. School’s boring as always and he spends his days sitting in the middle of the class doodling in his notebook. Sitting in the middle of the class meant you weren’t one of the good smart kids that sat in the front and you also weren’t one of the cool loud kids in the back. You were average, nothing important. And that’s how he felt most of the time anyway. His friends and he weren’t cool, at least not in the eyes of the school. In Dan’s point of view, they weren’t cool at all but he let Chris and PJ think so because he was a good friend.

That day at 3 pm, PJ came with news. Usually it wasn’t that important. PJ would talk about his ideas for his stories, or what he had found online that day. He and Chris always nodded enthusiastically. This time, however was different.  
“Call me crazy but I think we’ve just been invited to a party,” he says with a confused expression. Chris snorts loudly.  
“What are you talking about?” Dan sighs. 1 hour, 30 minutes and 45 seconds till the weekend.  
“You know Jennifer right? The blonde one with…,” PJ starts.  
“The one with the huge tits, yeah we know her,” Chris says, making Dan snort and hit his chest. PJ looks like he doesn’t have the strength to put up with their shit but continues anyway.  
“As I was saying. She just told me about her party and told me it would be great if I brought my friends with me. To her party,” he emphasises the last part. 

“You sure it wasn’t your imagination?” Chris asks with a frown.  
“I don’t imagine people asking us to parties, Chris,” he says with a glare. Speaking of the devil, Jennifer walks over to them and smiles in Dan’s direction.  
“Hey. I’ll see you guy tomorrow right? I told Peej that you should come,” she says with a perfect smile.  
“Yeah, of course, wouldn’t miss it,” Chris says casually. Jennifer smiles at him and continues her day like nothing happened. PJ gave them a look that said ‘I told you so’. Dan rolls his eyes. He isn’t going to the stupid party anyway. 

Turns out, he is going. It wasn’t his idea, he mostly got dragged along with PJ and Chris, because ‘this was their chance’ and ‘you are not going to waste your time by being on tumblr the whole night, dan’. They are overreacting. Chris is more familiar with parties. He easily got sucked up into the crowd of people, nobody even blinking an eye at him. PJ had found a girl he was talking to. Probably about something nerdy; his eyes were sparkling with excitement and his hands were moving as he talked. The girl seemed genuinely interested, which made Dan happy. He is rooting for Peej.  
Dan just does not fit in. It was mostly because he doesn’t feel comfortable but people are staring at him like he is strange for being here. And he feels like it. Truth is, PJ and Chris do not need him this night. But as he is sneakily grabbing his jacket he is interrupted.

“You leaving already?” a low voice says. Dan pretends he doesn’t jump at that and turns around. He has seen the guy at school before; never talked to him but passed him in the hallways.  
“Yeah, not really my thing,” he confesses. The guy laughs.  
“I’d rather be at home too. I’m Phil,” he introduces himself.  
“I’m Dan,” he says awkwardly. They’re still standing by the door and if the guy were to stop talking, Dan would still slip out of the house.  
“Yeah I know who you are. You sit in front of me during English. Besides, I always see you and your friends laughing when I see you in the hallway.” Dan imagines what he must have seen. Chris telling a stupid joke, Dan clapping his hands, his high pitched loud laugh. Yeah, it does not look pretty.  
“Well, time to go,” he says feeling mortified as soon as he realises he said it out loud. Phil laughs loudly but stops him. He turns Dan around by the hips, gripping a little tight as he forces Dan to look at him.  
“Stay here, keep me company,” Phil tells him with a smile. Dan raises an eyebrow at him. he’s aware of the hands that are still on his hips and not making a movement of leaving.

“Don’t even know you,” he says. Phil shrugs.  
“Get to know me then,” he says in a soft voice. Dan exhales, feeling a bit uneasy with the way he’s looking at him.  
“Your hands are on my hips,” he says carefully. Phil’s eyes fall to where his hands are and he looks up again.  
“They are,” he says quietly. Dan flushes and pushes them away quickly. Phil lets him, still smiling. It feels like the stranger is flirting with him, which makes him uncomfortable since he’s not into dudes. At all. Chris is, he told him and Peej a few months ago that he likes boys and girls. They had both been cool with it even though Dan got a red head and didn’t know how to act. Phil looks at him, studies his face with a slight smile before his eyes drift lower.  
“You’re cute,” he says with a grin. Dan’s head heats up.  
“You’re drunk,” he replies. Phil laughs and nods.  
“I am, but you’re still cute,” he replies. The door opens as someone walks into the hallway. Phil looks up at the girl and Dan uses this to quickly slip away and go inside again. 

His heart is beating faster than before and his head feels like it will never return to its normal colour. He wonders if people heard what happened. Of course they didn’t. But what if the girl heard it? He jumps when Chris throws an arm around his shoulder.  
“You alright?” he asks. Dan nods quickly.  
“You having fun?” Chris asks. Dan considers telling him the truth but doesn’t.  
“I need a drink,” he says instead. Chris laughs.  
“There’s my Dan. Come on, you’re going to love Louise.”

X

Wednesday. Two days and 4 hours until the weekend. Chris somehow managed to befriend a few people from the party last Saturday and they’re currently hanging out with them. He never really thought about how these other people would be. But they weren’t that different from them. Louisa turned out to be just as awkward as him and they can laugh really hard together. He also likes Tyler and Zoe; they are all really nice. There is just one problem. Phil, the one that had called him cute and held his hips while they were standing by the door, is in their new friend group too. He had to be pretty drunk on the party because he is different now. He is much more gentle, quiet, and less flirty than he was before. Dan finds out they share a lot of the same interests but prefers not to talk to him. Because what happened was just strange. And should not happen again.  
“Why do you always look like you’d rather be dead than be here?” Phil asks him one time during lunch. At first, he thinks Phil’s talking to Chris. But as he looks up he sees the blue eyes staring at him curiously. He snorts as he remembers his question.  
“Because most of the time, it’s true,” he tells him.  
“It’s true, Dan hates everything around him. Especially school,” PJ says with a chuckle. Dan scoffs.  
“I don’t hate everything. I’m just not a big fan of most things,” he justifies. Tyler and Louise laugh at that. Phil just looks at him curiously, like he’s some kind of interesting thing. He’s not. Dan looks away, focuses on other things around him.

About a week goes by before they’re at another party, Louise’s birthday party this time. It feels less awkward now Dan actually has people to talk to. He still won’t dance or something like that though. Simply grabs a drink and sits on the couch talking or just simply watching people. Phil smiles at him and sits down, drink in hand. Dan has only had two beers but has already switched to Fanta.  
“You’re not going to sneak out this time are you?” Phil asks in a teasing voice. Dan rolls his eyes.  
“Dunno if you remember but I didn’t actually leave because some giant was blocking the door,” he says. Phil chuckles.  
“Why wouldn’t I remember?”  
“You were drunk weren’t you?” Something changes in Phil’s face but Dan’s not sure what it is.  
“That I was, but that doesn’t mean I’ll just forget something that happened,” he says. Dan’s feels himself getting red when he says happened. Which is stupid because nothing happened.  
“Well you could have fooled me,” Dan replies casually. Phil smiles, just keeps smiling the entire time.

“Well, I’m glad you’re staying. You’re refreshing to be around,” Phil says. Dan scoffs.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“It’s a compliment. Take it,” Phil grins, his hand pressing on Dan’s knee briefly. He must have looked startled because Phil pulls it off quickly. Dan’s not sure how he feels about that. Glad, must be, because it’s weird. He blames the alcohol for his confusion. They sit there in comfortable silence, watching people and listening to the music. That is until Phil stands up from the couch.  
“Wanna come outside?” he asks Dan. Dan shrugs and stands up. As they’re outside, they see Alfie and Zoe leaning against one of the trees, talking. Dan can barely call it that since Alfie is so close they’re nearly talking into each other’s mouths.  
“They’re gonna make out in a second,” Phil mutters to Dan. Dan laughs quietly. They both keep looking for a little bit longer, seeing Alfie indeed close the gap between their mouths.  
“Now it’s getting weird to watch them,” Dan voices his thoughts.  
“It was weird to begin with,” Phil shoots back. Dan laughs. 

“Your laugh’s cute,” Phil says suddenly. All the weird nerves he had felt the first time he saw Phil come back now. He gives him a confused look but Phil just looks completely serious.  
“What?” he says dumbly. Phil pokes one of his dimples.  
“Your laugh. It’s cute,” he repeats. Dan’s speechless. He should go inside and escape this awful moment again.  
“Are you drunk again?” he asks, because apparently he can’t speak like a normal human being anymore. Phil chuckles louder, making Dan shoot a look in the direction of Alfie and Zoe but they’ve already gone inside again.  
“You think I called you cute last time because I was drunk?” Dan blushes. He hoped to never speak of the incident, as he calls it, again.  
“I think you’re cute, Dan. And you’re really interesting too,” Phil says. This is the moment where he should run. Where he should tell him he’s not interested and he should join Chris and PJ. But he doesn’t.  
“And?” he asks instead. Phil’s smile widens. Pulls Dan in by his hips again. They’re outside, if someone would come out they would see this. He’s not moving, keeps staring at Phil waiting for him to say it’s a joke.

“And I’d like to kiss you,” Phil says simply. Dan doesn’t say anything. He’s not gay. He’s not into dudes and he’s absolutely not into dark haired giants touching his hips. Phil’s hands come up to his jaw, his thumb stroking the skin just once.  
“Are you gonna say something?” Phil asks with an insecure little laugh. He should say something. He should tell him. Phil’s hand brushes his bottom lip slightly.  
“Dan?” he begins but it’s muffled when Dan leans forward and kisses him. Phil makes a surprised noise pulling Dan back in reality. He pulls away so quickly he stumbles over his feet and nearly lands into the bushes. Phil catches him just in time. Hand on his lower back as he pulls him up again. Dan would like to die in a hole right now and never see the light again.

“Sorry,” he hears himself say. His whole face probably looks like a tomato right now but either Phil doesn’t see or doesn’t care because he pulls him in for another kiss. Phil’s lips feel really nice against his as he kisses him back. Phil’s hands are on his lower back and on his cheek. They keep holding him with soft careful hands while his mouth keeps pressing against his softly, urgently. His fingers dig into his lower back a little harder, making him gasp a little. Phil seems to like that because he licks into his mouth. Dan makes an embarrassing noise against his mouth and returns it. Phil pushes him so that his back hits the nearest tree, making him wince a little, and places his hand on Dan’s hip again. The other starts playing with his hair. Phil presses little kisses on his mouth before deepening it and keeps doing that. Dan feels like his legs might give out. He has never kissed someone like this. And not at all outside during a birthday party. Phil pulls off and Dan’s a little disappointed before Phil drags his lips over his jaw.

He presses wet slow kisses there before going lower until he reaches his neck. Dan lets out a sound from the back of his throat which sounds a lot like moan. His face flushes at the sound and Phil pauses briefly. He pauses long enough for Dan to realise what he’s doing. He pushes Phil away quickly. Phil gives him a confused look.  
“We shouldn’t do that,” he rushes out. Phil still looks a little puzzled.  
“Alright, we can just kiss?” he asks in confusion, leaning in to kiss him again. Dan slips away and actually trips over his own feet this time.  
“I need to leave,” he gets out. He doesn’t wait for Phil to get it, he rushes inside hoping nobody will notice his burning cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You need to stop kissing me,” he rushes out quickly. Phil gives him an amused smirk that makes Dan want to scream.

Tuesday, 4 days and 6 hours till the weekend. Dan has been avoiding his friends a bit. He has not exactly been avoiding Chris and PJ but as soon as he sees Tyler he runs. Because where his new friends are, the more chance there is for Phil to be there too. And he really doesn’t want to see him. He sees Phil looking at him sometimes when he walks away to avoid him. He pretends he doesn’t see the way his smile falters whenever he quickly looks away when their eyes meet.

PJ notices after a few days.  
“You doing okay?” he asks. Dan nods, smiling when PJ doesn’t look convinced.  
“Don’t you like Tyler or something? You never want to sit with them anymore,” he goes on. Dan shrugs.  
“Just don’t feel like being around lots of people, is all,” he says. And that is harder than it looks when both of his friends still want to hang out with them. Phil comes up to him when he’s standing by his locker.  
“Hey,” he says casually. Dan slams his hand a little to hard against the side of his locker. He bites his lip and pretends it doesn’t hurt.

“Are you avoiding me?” Phil asks. Dan doesn’t look at him. Maybe if he pretends he isn’t here, he will leave. Phil doesn’t leave though. Just sighs and rests his hand against his locker. The way those popular guys do when they’re flirting with girls in films. He is the girl in this situation. His face heats up at that as he slams his locker closed. Phil nearly falls but catches himself in time.  
“Is this about what happened?” Phil asks in a gentle voice.  
“Nothing happened,” Dan replies harshly. He looks up at Phil, who raises his eyebrow at him.  
“Really? Because I can vaguely remember your mouth on mine,” he states.  
“Shut up!” Dan hisses, looking around if someone heard them. A girl looks at him weirdly but Dan’s not sure if it is because she heard them or because Dan is acting like a psycho. 

“You don’t have to be ashamed, Dan,” Phil murmurs.  
“I’m not ashamed of anything,” he snaps.  
“Okay,” Phil says simply. Dan nods, his face still bright red.  
“See you around then,” Phil says, his hand on his shoulder for a moment as he squeezes it quickly. The touch light something up in Dan. He thinks back at those hands on him, holding him, his fingers digging into the skin. Stop it, don’t think about it. He promises himself to look at pictures of boobs when he comes home.

x

“Hey, Dan!” Tyler yells when he passes him. Dan looks up at him. Tyler jumps against him, pulling him into a hug.  
“Ouch, Jesus,” he curses. He hears Zoe giggle at them. He feels a little bad for avoiding them.  
“I haven’t seen you in forever! Wanna come with us? We’re getting chipotle,” Tyler asks. He doesn’t dare to ask who’s coming, because that would be rude and he has already proven himself to be a complete dick to his friends.  
“Is Louise coming too?” he asks instead. Tyler scoffs at him.  
“Of course she is, let’s go,” he urges. And so he lets himself be dragged along to Tyler’s house. Everything is going well. Everyone is excited and happy as always and PJ smiles at him, probably thinking he got over his ‘wanting to be alone phase’.  
“Dan get the door!” Louise yells at him.  
“You lazy twat,” he teases. Louise giggles and pushes him towards the door. When he opens the door is when his day goes downhill again. Phil looks just as surprised to him as he must be. He recovers quickly though.  
“Hey, have you guys eaten everything already?” he asks in a light voice.

“Phil! I’m starving I’m gonna eat!” Tyler yells, before laughing at whatever Louise has probably said to him.  
“Typical,” Phil mutters before taking off his coat. Dan snorts and Phil shoots him a smile. Dan wishes he wouldn’t smile at him. Or he does, he’s not sure. Phil should just stop everything he’s doing.  
“Good to see you,” Phil continues in a soft voice. Dan pretends not to hear him. Why is he still standing here anyway? He should go back inside. But there’s a strange feeling that makes him want to stay there.  
“Dan,” Phil urges. He barely has a moment to reply before his back hits the wall. It makes a soft thump that could probably be heard in the living room. 

Phil’s warm mouth presses against him and Dan melts into it in seconds. He hates himself for being so weak. He needs to be stronger than this. He pushes against Phil’s chest. There lips disconnect but Phil stays in his space. He stares at his lips, they’re slightly red and wet.  
“Phil,” is what he gets out before Phil kisses his neck again. The kisses are quick and wet, going from the side of his neck to his throat. He bites gently at the skin and Dan groans quietly. His hands are still on Phil’s chest but he has the fabric of his t shirt gripped tightly into his hand. Phil continues kissing the skin when they hear Tyler laugh loudly.

They both snap out of it, Phil’s eyes wide and he’s slightly out of breath. Dan wishes he could disappear right now.  
“I’m sorry,” Phil tells him. ‘It’s okay’ he nearly says. But is it? He’s not gay.  
“We should eat,” he says instead. Phil nods and they both head back inside.  
“Finally! I’ve nearly finished,” Zoe complains. Phil still seems a bit out of it but recovers quicker than Dan, who still looks like he’s seen a ghost. They have no way of actually knowing what they did but Dan still feels like everyone knows. Like everyone sees right through him. And so he eats his food with red cheeks while he avoids eye contact with Phil.

It’s Friday when they kiss again. Dan glares at him until Phil finally says goodbye to the others and comes towards him. Chris and PJ probably think they’re going to make up whatever weird ‘fight’ they have as Chris called it. Dan hadn’t denied anything.  
“What?” Phil asks with a sigh. Dan scoffs, as if that is a legit question.  
“You need to stop kissing me,” he rushes out quickly. Phil gives him an amused smirk that makes Dan want to scream.  
“I mean it,” Dan states. Phil rolls his eyes and steps closer to him. He rests his hand against the wall Dan is leaning against. He is the goddamn girl in a romantic teen movie again.  
“Really?” Phil asks, half teasing. Dan nods as Phil reaches out and touches his cheek. A part of Dan wants to slap that hand away while the other wants Phil to keep touching his skin, touch his bottom lip with his finger like last time, wants Phil’s hands on him, in his hair and other places boys really should not touch each other without not being straight anymore.  
“Why are you so afraid?” Phil asks in a soft voice, his thumb going from his cheek to his chin, tilting it up so Dan’s head slightly making Dan let out a little sound. Dan’s positive this is was dying feels like.  
“I’m not gay,” he gets out. Phil’s expression softens and he smiles.  
“It’s okay,” he says softly. Dan shakes his head. How could any of this be okay?  
“Don’t hurt your pretty head thinking about it so hard. It’s okay. It’s okay if you want this,” Phil says. Dan hesitates as he looks at him. He knows Phil won’t kiss him now, not without him confirming that he wants it. And so he grabs the back of Phil’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. The kiss is softer and slower than the one in Tyler’s house while this time they are way more exposed. Phil sneaks one hand behind Dan’s head where his neck begins. His fingers rub circles into the hairs at the back of his neck and Dan actually moans against his mouth now. 

Phil pulls off, leaving Dan chasing his lips. Phil chuckles and presses a kiss to his mouth briefly before pulling off again.  
“You want this?” Phil asks. Dan huffs out an annoyed sound.  
“Isn’t that obvious?” he snaps before putting his mouth on Phil’s. It’s not nearly long enough before Phil pulls off again. Life must hate him, now he finally wants something it keeps going away. But then he grabs his hips, rubs it with his thumbs.  
“Dan, do you want to go back to my place?”

Dan wishes he had said no. Because Phil’s mum is really nice and his house looks really nice and they probably think Dan’s just a nice boy Phil’s friends with. While they will probably do things they shouldn’t do and Dan’s not about this life. And Chris just texted him asking him if he and Phil made up. What if he will notice? What if his mum already noticed? His parents will notice. This was such a bad idea. Phil pulls at his shirt making him jump a little. Phil gives him a smile and pats the bed.  
“You’re freaking out, aren’t you? Come here.” Without a second thought, Dan does. Phil doesn’t touch him but sits close next to him.  
“You don’t have to decide anything, you know? Whatever label you think it has what you’re feeling, it doesn’t have to be like that,” Phil tells him.  
“Chris is bi, I know about the label thing,” he mumbles.  
“Then what scares you?”  
“I don’t really know. I’ve never thought about myself in that way, that’s scary enough isn’t it?” Phil smiles and nods.  
“I suppose that’s true.” The silence that falls is much more comfortable.

“Does your mum know the boy you just brought to your room is the one you were snogging an hour ago?” he asks. Phil snorts loudly.  
“My mum doesn’t think I snog people. She thinks I kiss them politely on the cheek while we hold hands and watch pg rated films.” Dan laughs.  
“Is that not what you do?” Phil grins. He rolls on his side with his face facing Dan.  
“Oh no, I just call them cute and put my hands on their hips while I kiss their neck,” he says casually. Dan’s face heats up.  
“Yeah?” he squeaks. Phil bites his lip but Dan can see the smile creeping up.  
“Wanna do it some more?” Phil asks softly. Dan looks at his lips. He vaguely remembers his mum downstairs and that his friends will start to notice. He pushes the scary thoughts aside and kisses him. 

They awkwardly make out while both lying on their sides. Phil’s hand wanders from Dan’s arm lower to his waist and he tugs him closer. Dan falls a little against Phil’s chest, making the angle harder to kiss.  
“Come here,” Phil mumbles. Dan knows what he tries to say and carefully straddles Phil. Now he’s on top of him he can clearly see his face. The face of someone who’s totally not a girl. And it turns him on.  
“You’re cute,” Phil tells him. Dan blushes as he leans down to kiss him again. The kisses stay quite innocent for a while. Phil’s having one hand on Dan’s back and the other on his cheek as they kiss. Dan has both hands on Phil’s face. He wonders if he can touch more, do more now that he can. Phil probably thinks the same thing but something breaks when Dan gasps into his mouth. Phil’s hand travels lower and he firmly grabs his ass.

Dan’s breath hitches and he moves his hips into Phil’s body. He pulls off so he can place kisses on Phil’s skin hesitantly. He kisses his neck like Phil had done to him before. Phil hums. He squeezes Dan’s ass before pushing it down. Dan moans against his skin as his hips grind into Phil’s. Phil curses and pushes him down again. Dan moans quietly before moving his hips himself. He shivers at the feeling and continues doing that in circles.  
“God,” Phil breathes out. Dan wants to laugh. Because the whole situation is just so weird and unexpected. Phil sits up a little to kiss his neck. Dan shifts, not before grinding down into Phil and smiling at the sound he makes, and sits in Phil’s lap instead.

“I wanted this since I saw you on that party,” Phil says dreamily. He drags his lips down Dan’s neck slowly before sucking. Dan lets out a high pitched noise that makes him blush. He may be into all of this but he prefers to sound a little manlier. Feeling bold, he presses his ass down into Phil’s lap feeling him hard under him. Phil curses under his breath. Both of his hands find their way to his hips as he helps him grind down on his lap. Dan’s letting out little gasps now and he’s sure his cheeks are bright red. Phil looks amazing; his hair is slightly messed up, his mouth hanging a bit open and the way he’s looking at him, god. This is what dying is like. He’s dying due snogging someone who’s way too hot. Phil’s starting to grind up at him and his hands have found their way under his sweater. Dan wishes he’d take it off. He could take any piece of clothing off him right now. He just wants more.

He brings his hands to the end of Phil’s shirt and begins pulling it upwards.  
“Phil?” Phil’s mum suddenly yells. Both of them freeze for a second before Dan throws himself off Phil and rolls on his stomach on the bed.  
“Does Dan want to stay for dinner?” she continues. God, that super nice woman is asking Dan to stay for dinner while he nearly got her son shirtless.  
“Uh, Yeah!” Phil calls back. Dan should not feel smug about the way his voice is still a bit wobbly.  
“Alright, I’ll call you two in a few minutes!” she calls before they hear the door close. Dan gives him a wide eyed stare and Phil sighs before giggling. Dan joins him for a moment before groaning with his face against the bed.  
“I wanna die, I nearly had a heart attack at that. I promise I will never try to get anyone shirtless ever again,” he mumbles. Phil laughs.  
“Speak for yourself,” he simply says. Dan tries to glare at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so I am trying to get somewhere in my original story but I have to let the gay out first  
> So here ya go  
> find me @ softandpersistent.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can only be what you are, not what they make you to be.”

2 hours till the weekend. Dan’s really content with his life right now. He’s sitting in his last class of the day, English. He never really noticed Phil sitting behind him but now they’re kissing he can’t block out the way he shifts in his seat, the soft chuckle when someone makes a joke, the sound of him writing and then scratching out whatever he had written wrong. Dan seriously has a problem. Phil not so accidently kicks his foot against the back of Dan’s chair. When he turns around to look over his shoulder, Phil smirks at him and winks. Dan’s face burns as he firmly keeps looking in front of him. He can’t help the light feeling in his belly though. When the bell rings he doesn’t dare to look at Phil yet. Phil walks with him to his locker. Dan’s not sure if they’re being discreet. His heart beats a little faster whenever Phil touches him in public and that’s both because it’s Phil and because he’s afraid people will KNOW. 

But the week is amazing and it’s probably the cheeriest he’s ever been.   
“You’re in a good mood,” Louise notices. Dan scoffs, having a reputation to uphold.  
“No, you are! Chris tell him,” Louise urges. Dan snorts at Chris exaggerated bored expression.  
“You are recently very pleasant to be around,” Chris says in a monotone voice. Dan smiles, not being able to look annoyed.  
“See, normally you’d curse or something! Who are you and what have you done with Dan?”  
“Leave him be, Louise. Eventually he will tell us about his love affair.” His heart seems to have stopped for a second and the smile falters as the panic comes rushing back. The laughter that comes from the others makes him realize it was a joke. Chris is looking at him with a frown, like he noticed Dan’s small freak out then. If he does, he doesn’t comment on it.

Friday night, Phil comes over ‘to watch a movie’. He knows how cheesy that sounds and he’s glad Chris and Tyler aren’t here to give him shit for it.   
“I like your room,” Phil tells him. Dan lets out a groan.  
“You probably think I’m the biggest nerd on this earth,” he complains. Phil snorts. He comes up to him and kisses him on the cheek.  
“Since when do you care what I think?” Dan rolls his eyes. He turns around and wraps his arms around Phil’s neck.  
“Obviously I do. Though I value your mum’s opinion more,” he says with a smile. Phil chuckles, running his hand through Dan’s short hair.  
“She likes you way too much. I’m not surprised if she keeps inviting you to dinner,” Phil says.  
“Is that bad?” Dan asks a little uncertain.  
“’Course not. I love having you around. What do you want though?”  
“Obviously I want you,” Dan replies.  
“Good to know but meant with us. Are we dating?” Phil asks and he almost sounds shy.

“Yes, we’re dating! We’ve made out about 8 times or something.” Not that he was counting.  
“Just wondering if you’d like to tell people. If I can tell my mum and stuff,” Phil says. That’s something different. Dan sits down quietly and thinks. It’s not like he’s in the closet since he never thought about it and he’s not exactly waiting to come out or something. But telling people, would that officially make him gay? Would then the label be placed and would he not be able to take it off? Would he have to call himself bi? Would people believe him?  
“Hey,” Phil softly. He takes his hands and starts to massage it.  
“I just feel like they will expect something from me, if I’m gay, you know? I never really thought about it but if you’re straight you don’t have a stereotype to fight or to live up to,” Dan says.  
“I know,” Phil says.  
“You can only be what you are, not what they make you to be.” Dan smiles at him fondly. He brings Phil’s hand up to his mouth and kisses it.  
“Wanna make out now?” Dan asks. The smile Phil gives him is what Dan can feel on his lips for hours even after Phil’s left.

X

“Dan?” PJ starts carefully when he and Chris are playing video games in PJ’s room.  
“Hm?” Dan hums, not really paying attention as Chris swears at him for winning.  
“Rumour has it you and Phil are a thing.” Dan nearly jumps at that.  
“What?” he squeaks. Chris stops playing and turns around to look at Dan.  
“Who started it then?” Dan asks silently.  
“I don’t know, uh,” PJ mumbles.   
“Phil’s nice. I like him,” Chris tells them. Dan nods.  
“So I just wanted to let you know I guess,” PJ says but there’s a question somewhere hidden. Dan knows, but he also knows that he does not want to tell them, not yet.  
“Yeah, thanks Peej,” he says. Silently saying ‘Thank you for giving me the space to tell you.’ He hopes they understand. Both of them carry on so Dan guesses they do.

X

“Rumour has it we’re dating,” Dan tells him when Phil is placing kisses on his jaw and neck.   
“Who would have thought?” Phil murmurs against his neck before biting. Dan hiss turns into a soft moan. His fingers dig into Phil’s shirt, pulling it up a little. The thought of removing Phil’s clothes keep coming back to him. He wants that. He wants Phil’s body on him, feel more of him, hear him moan. He flushes at the thought. Should they be having sex? Would having sex with Phil give him his final label?  
“Hey,” Dan whispers.  
“Do you want to have sex?” Dan asks with a blush on a face. Phil seems to be taken aback by his question. But Dan notices how he bites his lip and shifts his hips a little bit.  
“Do you?” Phil asks. Dan blushes.  
“Yeah,” he confesses. Phil lets out a sigh before pressing their mouths together desperately. Dan gasps into his mouth as Phil’s hands move to touch the part of his skin where his shirt has ridden up.   
“You meant now right? Because if you don’t want to do this right now that’s fine too,” Phil rushes out.

Dan grins and kisses him again. When he pulls off he places a long kiss on his neck making Phil let out a little sound.   
“Yes, I want to touch you. And take your shirt off,” Dan says. Phil chuckles before he sits up. Dan watches him with anticipation as Phil takes his shirt off slowly, like you see in slow motion in movies. He lets his gaze not so subtly drop to Phil’s slight abs. Dan reaches out to run his hand up his stomach to his chest. Dan notices the intake in breath as he looks up at Phil again. Phil looks at him and Dan is on him in an instant. They’re kissing each other desperately, passionately again. Dan rolls on top of him. Phil’s hands grab his ass firmly as they continue to make out. Dan wants to kiss other parts of his body. He pulls off, smiling at the way Phil chases his mouth. He shyly stares at Phil’s chest before pressing a kiss there. Phil gasps as Dan kisses down his chest. He runs his fingers down Dan’s cheek before tilting his chin up. Dan looks up at him and is met by a smiling Phil.

“Come up here,” Phil tells him. Dan bites his lip and crawls up to Phil again. Phil lets his hand travel to the end of Dan’s shirt.  
“Can I take off your shirt?” Phil asks with a smile. Dan grins at him.  
“What would your mum think?”  
“My mum would probably approve since you’re such a nice boy,” Phil says. Dan laughs. He brings Phil’s hands to his sides, pushing them up so he pushes his shirt up too. Phil gets the message and takes off his shirt. The way Phil stops and looks at him makes Dan blush.  
“You’re so cute,” Phil tells him. Dan grins.  
“Shut up,” he tells him, but it’s fondly. When Phil touches him that day, they’re both giggling quietly. That’s the best way to do it, Dan decides. 

X  
“I’m dating someone,” Dan tells Chris silently. Chris doesn’t gasp, doesn’t slam his fist on the table, doesn’t say ‘I knew it’. He simply smiles at him.  
“That’s great, Dan,” he tells him. And that’s when Dan really starts to think about it. He knows nobody would care if he dated Phil or not. He knows nobody would care if he wasn’t straight. So why was he pretending they would. He tells his mum next.  
“I like a boy,” he tells her. She looks a little surprised but doesn’t tell him she is. She doesn’t tell him she never would have expected it from him. She hugs him instead, telling him it’s okay and when she can meet the boy.   
“You have already seen him,” Dan confesses. She raises her eyebrow at him.  
“It’s the one with the black hair, huh? Phil?” Dan nods with red cheeks. She doesn’t tell him that she suspected it, she tells him he’s a cute boy and that’s it. Dan’s really starting to don’t care about the expectations. The expectations he had for people didn’t come true either.

“Look at me, laying in Phil Lester’s bed. Only in my underwear. What would your mum think?” Dan teases. Phil shoves him gently and Dan giggles.  
“If you don’t stop with mentioning my mum I will never touch you again,” Phil threatens. Dan pouts at him. Phil kisses him in response. It’s dark in the room but Phil is warm against him.  
“Can I kiss you on school Monday?” Dan whispers against his lips. Phil seems surprised.  
“Of course you can,” Phil says quickly, his happiness clear in his voice. Dan smiles, presses a kiss to Phil’s chest. He doesn’t stop at one though.  
“Dan we should sleep,” Phil warns. Dan hums. He presses his hand against the front of Phil’s boxers making Phil curse. Dan rubs there and feels Phil harden under his touch. He keeps doing that before Phil rolls on top of him, his hard on now pressed against Dan’s thighs.  
“You are the devil,” Phil tells him. Dan chuckles.  
“You love it,” he gasps when Phil reaches into his underwear to grasp his cock. Phil hums in agreement as he begins to stroke him. Dan’s cockiness has left him and he can only moan quietly as Phil touches him. He strokes Phil’s back while he does it and Phil presses a kiss on his hair.   
“I’ll never get tired of this,” Dan gasps dreamily into Phil’s mouth. Phil snorts.  
“You’re not doing that much work,” he tells him. Dan pulls Phil’s underwear down.  
“Would you like me to do more work then?” he tries to say seductively. He’s sure fails on the seductive part but Phil still moans, still pushes his hips up into Dan’s hand. Dan feels a little powerful at that. He tries to forget about Phil touching him a bit so he can focus but quickly loses that as Phil starts playing with his balls.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” he swears, back arching from the bed.  
“You’re so hot,” Phil whispers, sounding in awe. Dan tugs Phil’s face down and kisses him. He keeps moaning in his mouth while moving his own hand on Phil. It doesn’t take them long to come. Both still over eager and aroused. When Phil comes he lets out a low grunt that does things to Dan. His stomach also tenses and he tightens the grip on Dan’s hair. He’s not sure why he ever doubted to find Phil hot. When Phil tugs Dan closer to him that night Dan thinks he feels butterflies. He almost tells Phil that. He supposes some things can stay a secret for a little longer.

X  
It’s Thursday, 1 day and 10 minutes until the weekend when Dan Howell kisses his boyfriend in front of his friends for the first time. There are no wide eyes, there are no gasps, there are no ‘I told you so’ s. When Phil tells him a joke as they’re standing by Dan’s locker, waiting for the others, Dan can’t help it but kiss him. He moves his hand into Phil’s hair and pulls him in for a short kiss. All their friends do is smile, and they probably knew but neither of them say it. Nobody asks him about his sexuality yet and he’s grateful for that since he’s not sure he knows what his answer is yet. Tyler calls them gross when they hold hands the next week and Dan flips him off. The Thursday he kissed his boyfriend in front of his friends was also the day he stopped counting down until the weekend. He stopped wanting it to be weekend that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii  
> So I started this and in my head dan was very no homo but as I was writing the last chapter I sort of started relating and it got a lot more from my own experience.
> 
> anywayyyyy  
> I hope you liked it. Let me know if I should do more Phan stuff
> 
> xx  
> softandpersistent.tumblr.com


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